Minutes from Dept. of Speculation

I have been reading Dept. of Speculation as one last quick read this year. Well it's the last day. The book feels very soft, lullaby like, narrated as a stream of consciousness, almost lyrical, poetic. It is Bouba not Kiki. It's really somehow soft and warm. Warm and mildly depressing, if that makes sense? 

At times I can relate to it in weird ways. But in Chapter 20, the sentence caught my eye:

My husband is hunched over his computer, just as he was when I went in. All day long he has been following the news about an earthquake in another country. Every time the death count is updated, he updates me...

This is exactly where I find myself sometimes. Obsessed over some incident which doesn't affect me at all. It's not sympathy, not even morbid curiosity. It is just what it is. Perhaps it's Kabir-esque :

कबीरा खड़ा बाज़ार में, सबकी मांगे खैर

ना काहू से दोस्ती, ना काहू से बैर

Not that too. This is just Sant Kabir simplifying कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते for the common man. I am much below that level of detachment. I care about outcome. It might even be playing a Watcher as in MCU. Perhaps not, I discovered the concept of Watchers much later in life. BR Chopra's Mahabharat' Main Samay Hoon will be a much earlier, more connected and likely influence. Anyway I like the feeling of detachment. It's the same- warm yet mildly depressing. It's not vedantic detached observer, I have too much vainful pride in my knowledge. And the mere act of knowledge provides me joy. I am the one Adi Shakar warned सम्प्राप्ते सन्निहिते काले, नहि नहि रक्षति डुकृञ्करणे . I should really finish Kathopanishad along with Swami Sarvapriyananda's lectures that I have started earlier. Long back. Back when home was like home. 

It could be ward election is some random city of a state I have never visited. Or it might be a war in the Caucasian region. Or even Japanese aid to Central Asian nations. I will haunt the subreddits, lurk on the Twitter spheres, dig into JSTOR and devour PhD theses. 

Unlike the husband (Offill hasn't named him yet, and I don't think it is required, why do we even name our characters? This though and the foggy cold Faridabad morning reminds me of Dwivedi's Kutuj. He writing escaped me at forst - good typo? But it should be first- but later when I understood it it provided me with much warmth, icy cold Himalayan warmth) I don't share this with anyone. Not that I don't want to. I have no one. Who will watch the watcher? The wife is stuck. I have no wife, no love life either. Perhaps this is why I started the blog. Indeed that's the reason. I can at least scream into void that Government says 23 dead but the local press are reporting between 50 to 64. Nobody would care, I won't get a polite hmmm mandated by the Agni. Still it's better than something. This is not depressing, it's the opposite infact. 

Earthquakes are interesting things. Certain animals can feel them in advance. DD have a talent to feel one even if miniscule. My mother, on the other hand, can feel one even if it is not there lacking! 

I have been off Reddit for some time. PhD eats away your time. Well, we are JRFs, employee of Department of Atomic Energy now, can't blame them. Hopefully SRF soon. It matters, for apparently seniority matters even for missiles. But technology have been progressing. The Japanese can now predict earthquakes. I never bothered to read how they do it, but it sounds mind boggling. But they are Japanese, and as the old Indo-Japan joke goes, they say "Of none can do, I will do it." Something worth learning rather than that the normal punch line. Perhaps observe them, with the regular earthquakes. 

Review: 1808: The Flight of the Emperor: How a Weak Prince, a Mad Queen, and the British Navy Tricked Napoleon and Changed the New World

1808: The Flight of the Emperor: How a Weak Prince, a Mad Queen, and the British Navy Tricked Napoleon and Changed the New World by Laurentino Gomes
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I will be upfront that I picked the wrong book. I wanted to read Flight Paths of the Emperor but mistakenly got this. I was a good mistake though. It is a very well written, well researched book.

The flight (apparently the correct word is a hotly belated issue among historians but the author makes a good case for flight) of the Portuguese court to Brazil is the only example of a European monarch reigning from the new world. The arrival was nothing grand like the Delhi Durbar (as seen in say A Princess Remembers: The Memoirs of the Maharani of Jaipur) but still equally or perhaps even more monumental moment in history of the respective countries.

The author patiently sets the stage for the flight: the decay of Portugal, the menace of Napoleon, and the political and military climate of Europe at the time. Everything is presented clearly enough that even readers unfamiliar with the circumstances can easily grasp them.

The scene of arrival to the port and the journey itself is very vividly recalled directly from the logs of the British Navy ships which escorted the royal family of Portugal. Many academic debates are brought up and most plausible (in eyes of the author) theories are put forward.

As the court arrives in Brazil, the references start to be Portuguese and cross-checking becomes difficult. But this is a good thing. They are still numerous and a mix of primary sources as well as more recent research as far as I can decipher. Brazil was far from a United nation when the court arrived, it's various parts were deliberately isolated from each other by Lisbon. But as Lisbon fell, there was no choice but to raise Brazil to the status of a united Kingdom. The author paints detailed pictures of the country at eve of the arrival and one can't help but notice the lack of development. It is afterall a colony. There is a comparative study of state of medical knowledge between Europe and India in the 16th and 17th century in a chapter of Science In Saffron: Skeptical Essays On History of Science

, and despite all the medical revolutions in Europe, the state of healthcare in Brazil is rather primitive. Much more primitive than India of the time, whose own medical tradition was but stagnant for about two millennia. Bloodletting was the main, and in places the only, form of treatment in Brazil. Another case of European inventions, fueled often by the spoils of the colony, not reaching the colonies.

The book is extremely detailed and takes many detours into anecdotes and personalities. Entire chapters are devoted to a single letter, a single meeting between the king and his daughters, the archivist, the chief of police, and more. Yet slavery (except for chapter 20, which is devoted entirely to it) is mostly mentioned only in passing. Data presented as of it were any other economic activity, say gold mining or grain growing.

Even in that chapter, the moral qualms about slavery come not from the author directly, but from quotations drawn from British sources. The author in fact seemed to very matter of fact finding the whole slavery business a normal routine. It is written, despite profits it was a very risky business. "Moonlighting Slavery" is supposed to be a model "equally convenient for the master and the slave". While there are not author's own words this is what she cites and reproduce without any comments. And these are modern scholars from South America, not 19th century slave traders. The author's own views is that sometimes freedom was not worth the quality of life degradation as the regulations about treatment of slaves were generous. In view of author, many of Brazil's modern social crisis like poverty and housing crisis can be traced back to freed slaves! The author have even written a trilogy about slavery in Brazil starting with Escravidão – Volume 1: Do primeiro leilão de cativos em Portugal até a morte de Zumbi dos Palmares, while I can't read Portuguese, the reviews on GR seems to suggest that the author have taken a much different there so perhaps one should not judge the author too harshly due to the single chapter. Still, I started to skim mostly last this chapter. The writing also seems to have picked pace and events leading to the revolution just quickly summarised. But the author has to sell his 1822 Still this trick suits more to romcoms like Flossed In Love (the book which most harshly tried to sell the sequel among my recent readings) than serious non-fiction. But it is what it is.


That being said, the book is still a very well cited resource, written with accessibility of pop history, for the incident and the time in aims to cover

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Review: Flossed In Love

Flossed In Love by Angela Pearse
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a very fast paced book book that ends on a major cliffhanger, which was perhaps my only complaint. Aside from that, it is very well written.

There is a dual timeline, one which follows the life of Florence in the past and other in the present. The present timeline has two narrators- Damain the Dentist and Floss (as Florence prefers to go as now). 'A dentist with a girlfriend called Floss', the coincidence is not lost to our Dr Rhodes. I found Florence's voice from the past when she was newly turning into a Vampire most interesting. In particular, the chapter where she discovers her flying powers offers a lot of insight into her character. The voices of the past and present are different (the present voice has retained the use of Moi from her past stay in Paris) and the dialogues are well written and show the difference in norms of time as well as growth of Floss' character. The inner monologue still had a 'modern' voice in the 19th century which breaks immersion.

Unlike me - who has only read A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor and A Declaration of the Rights of Magicians if you take a very liberal definition of the genre - Floss’s guilty pleasure is paranormal romance. While I am not deeply familiar with the genre, I did not find the book to have “too much witty banter and not enough blood-sucking.” Instead, these elements felt well balanced and often cleverly intertwined.

That said, given that this is a relatively short, the author could easily have completed the narration rather than ending where she did.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

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इज़हार के बाद

 पत्र वत्र लिखने के बाद

प्रेम के शूर से हया के

मोटे पर्दे चीरने के बाद

ये पल हैं अब दया के।

दया करनी है पल पल के बाद

पल पल से भी है वही आस

दया करे वो भी पढ़ने के बाद

उस पल तक तो अटकी रहे सास।

सास फूली गाल लाल, कहने के बाद 

सर चकराए, हाय, जी घबराए 

अंतहीन एक मौन के अंतिम पद के बाद

अब तो बस जी घबराए, मचलाए।

मचलाए क्यों ना हम इन सब के बाद

परीक्षार्थी को ना होती है क्या कुंजी की खोज?

इज़हार ए इश्क़ भी एक इंतहाम है, और उसके बाद

ना सुहाते भाई बंधु, हूरें, निद्रासन या छप्पन भोग।

भोग धूप आरती सब तरह के पूजन के बाद

विनती है कि हे माँ! अब तेरी ही सहारा है 

ये जो तेरी बिटिया है बोल इसके सोचने के बाद

दिल ए आवारा को इसका क्या अब इशारा है।

इशारा समय जो बीत चला नित नित दिन के बाद

करता एक ही ओर, ये नहीं अब केवल नारी  है

बनी है ये मेरी भाग्यस्वामिनी इज़हार के बाद

ये ही अब दारोगा, कलैक्टर और पटवारी है।

Review: Worthy of Her Sword

Worthy of Her Sword by E. M. Epps
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is a adventure/fantasy short story/novella following Tinsa on an undercover mission as a maid so as to earn her role as a 'Heroine' officially which in proper career part with various levels of certifications in the universe. The language is contemporary but still the prose (excepting the dialogues) have a certain charm. That said, dialogue attribution is occasionally unclear, disrupting narrative immersion at key moments. The actual operation, the mental breakdown following the mission as well as the little romantic plot all seemed to be rushed. Perhaps it was a prequel and not reading the earlier parts made it seemed rush, but still the work stands as a standalone. The world building however was interesting enough and enough (deliberate) opaque refrences to House Gaurjo to warrant reading A Winter of Fish and Favor.

This review was in exchange for an ARC.

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Review: My World Line: An Informal Autobiography

My World Line: An Informal Autobiography by George Gamow
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Unlike Halmos' I Want to be a Mathematician: An Automathography this is not a very detailed memoir or contains tips from the author to a new generation of scholars. In the foreword it is mentioned that the author once considered naming his autobiography "Fragments" and that would have aptly described the book. Still, much like Halmos’ writing, the book is humorous and rich with anecdotes. It reads less like a conventional autobiography and more like a loosely chronological collection of personal stories. In that sense, Gamow comes across almost as a Soviet born Feynman. Indeed this book reminds me of The Pleasure Of Finding Things Out: The Best Short Works Of Richard Feynman. One thing I found rather curious was the lack of any mention of Feynman in the book, given that Gamow pretty much name drops all of the other people on the field. They were even friends and Feynman was a member of his RNA Tie Club too. But still missed. Also unlike Feynman and Halmos, Gamow shies away from actually explaining the science in detail, perhaps trying to keep the bar for audience lower. Also the last four or so decades of the life (in America) are too rushed. They were intended to be outlines but the author passed away before filling those out.

On a side note, it is only by reading lives of people does one fully grasp how close certain historical events were. Born in Odessa (now in Ukraine) the author loved through the Russian revolution, the world wars and the atomic attack on Japan. Since these are just background events in the life of author, the pacing seems to be complete off from mere reading off dates in a history book. It is difficult to imagine the same boy asking for fresh water from British Royal Navy submarines docked in Odessa later asking his British colleagues for help escaping the Iron Curtain. It is even harder to imagine this given the visuals of the current conflict in that region.

It is only a lament that current crop of scientists have stooped writing such autobiographies, which blend personal history, intellectual culture, and humor so effectively.

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Pythagoras, Baudhayana or Meera Nanda?

 I recently started reading Meera Nanda's Science in Saffron: Skeptical Essays on History of Science. This is about some pseudoscientific claims made routinely by people on the Hindutva side. While our side is indeed suffering from many quacks, something which I myself have noted previously, but still the publisher 'Three essays collective' is a known leftist publisher. Also the book is dedicated to her "comrades". Predictably the preface starts with bashing the Sangh. 

However, while ideologically opposite to us, Nanda is still a scholar. She is not a a humanities type trying to weasel her way into the debates of sciences. She is a PhD in Biotechnology from IITD who have later branched into history of sciences. She is a someone no responsible person should ignore, for निंदक नेड़ा राखिये. Her sharp tounge and witty-to-her comments are more than countered my her scholarship and research. One can disagree with her philosophy that harmonizing science with traditional worldview is not conductive to reasearch (while I agree that radical decolonized relativist "science" say as taught in New Zealand is, but disagree with Nanda on the very thought being wrong), still, her footnotes does not care about our feelings. We can't attack the thesis unless we learn the facts. Perhaps she is not actually anti Hindu and writes against Hindutva side exclusively only for it is now rightfully and joyfully the dominant force politically. Still even in the first 50 or so pages she did give a much softer rapt to African scholars claiming more than their share of mathematical discoveries. This is much relevant when now there have been attempts to portray Yoga as an African practice.

I have read till the end of first chapter only and I did change my views. I read a rejoinder to it ( more accurately a earlier version published as an article) but it is mostly rhetorical and trying to catch her in a gotcha moment when there are none. As facts stand now (or at least in 2016 when the book was written) the first statement as well as proof to what we call the Pythagoras theorem are chinese in origin. Nothing can be done about this fact. It does not make us inferior. She rightly acknowledge that the Suvlasutras tackle a very challenging problem and can be appreciated even if it were not the source of Pythagoras theorem. There is a very nice article in Bhavana (excellent magazine) exploring this. The author however uses the term Baudhāyana-Pythagoras Theorem. To Meera Nanda the mere act of naming is just a childish act of one-upmanship and turing science into a zero sum olympics fought by civilizations. 

Her exposition is very clear, it would be a delight to read a textbook written by her. The citations check out. One has to concede this chapter to Nanda. 

2025 in Songs

I think the trend started with Spotify, but now everyone does it. We have "Your Music in 2025" based on just 11 months of the year. I don't know if this is the result of a declining attention span or overflow of "New Year's Season" in the Western conscience. Some make a good case that it's a business decision primarily. Either way, we must do what we must. Fortunately, GR have buckled the trend and will only release it after the new year hits its HQ, which is like an extra half a day for us in India. But still good. I wrote a post about after 2023, and it was my first post here. How the time flies, it's almost two years. As I mentioned then, NISER did change me a lot. Earlier, the only music for me was downloading and listening to Kavitas when my mother went out for shopping. Or well, game music such as my favourite from CK2's own band- Until the Day We Die. We didn't have a headphone culture at home ever before Corona. Corona did normalize it.

But my actual journey as a consumer of music started only at NISER. It accelerated when I started coming to my office 333 last winter. I also bought my tablet (not iPad, its a Lenovo and I have no regrets) and friendship with DD started. We would often just set up music on my tablet on my desk (about which I have obviously written a post) and then talk for hours, or sometimes she would just sit beside me, and we would study separately, with the silence broken only occasionally with either requesting a song or appreciating the old song the other had chosen. We did exchange a lot of tastes over the year. But as the soft mud, I took more than I gave back to the potter's wheel. Still, I managed to make plant  Jutti Meri, Sindoor Lal Chadavo and Are Babuni Ke Shahar Ke Lagal Ba Hawa in her mind on loop. 

This is mine for the year. I think most of the "UK artists" are Indian (mainly Punjabi) artists based in the UK rather than native English musicians. I think there are a lot of them. For the top artists, Taylor Swift is a gift to me by DD. I am almost a Swiftie now. They even made a list of the top 50 songs I heard, which can be accessed here. Since I have now been converted into the "songs one listens to tell a lot about the person" camp now, I think it would be a duty upon be to write a few lines on the top songs of the year for me.

The top song is Jutti Meri. Punjabi/Dogri bridal song where the bride playfully rejects going to in laws unleless the husband himself comes. The final stanza, "Thumak Thumak Jaani Aa Mahiye De Naal" always puts a smile on my face. Its kinda cute. Wedding music has its own charm. In our side of the country, it is tradition to abuse the Baraatis as the Baraat arrives. Even Sri Ram wasn't exempted. My mother used to tell me the old songs in our family for this purpose. That is the only real connection I share with Sadri/Gawari/Nagpuri. Sadly, the practice is dying out. 'Janakpur ki naaris' did not let down the practice, and I hope my future Saalis too preserve it. 

'London Boy' is perhaps the first English song I came to actually enjoy. I especially like the BBC Radio version. The song was stuck in my mind for quite some time. Once DD told me a banagli nursery rhyme as a joke, which of course sparked linguistic and philosophical debate about House vs Home. The song was supposed to help her case, but the line in question stuck with me deeply.

Next are two songs by Maithali Thakur, recently elected an MLA. I was her fan ever since I heard her and the brothers singing जुग जुग जियसु ललनवा . She seemed like a 16 year old grandmother. Her contribution to preserving our heritage is most respectable. But DD doesn't like her. Even less so after she got the BJP ticket. My political views are openly written. So Maithali Thakur is an early morning listen for me, before DD comes in.

Raat ke 2.5 baje is a fun song for me. Very carefree. Good to play in the background when one is playing 29 casually. Or just typing out the project report in LaTeX. 

Pataka Guddi is a similar one, but somehow a bit more touching to the heart. I have recently been discovering layers of meaning in the songs, such as the use of the word Jugni, and it makes everything even better. Also, I finally saw the final (DD being the Alia Bhatt fan managed to bully me into it) ,and it is good too. 

Sindoor Lal is my export to DD. It's now her go to pre exam stress song. Jay Ganpati Bappa! 

Thar Coast by Rapperiya Balam is a surprise entry. Rest all songs I will normally play myself before letting the algorithms take over.  Rapperiya Balam is brilliant, mind you. His nationalist and religious lyrics both work. As do the more typical Gangsta raps. But I can't even recall lyrics on Thar Coast. Weird. Weird. One more reason we need recaps and data. I would have never guessed it otherwise. Still somewhat weird. 

The next two are Bengali songs, courtesy DD. I, in fact, like a lot many Chandrbindu songs now and know like half the lyrics. Two years back, I only knew they called puris as luchis, a few lines of Ekla Chalo and "Ami Tumike bhalobahashi". Now I can recommend even some Bengalis some songs in their own tongue. My latest favourite is this folk song that DD played to tease me over the 'new girl'. but now I am enjoying the songs. What doesn't kill you... 


These recaps are explicitly about songs, but when one starts to brood over it, one recalls the silences, the laughs, the fights, the tears and everything that made the year as it was and made the person I am as one looks forward to 2026. 

छात्रावास, हिन्दी और एक शादी

देश के भिन्न-भिन्न शहरों में बहुत से महाविद्यालय हैं। इनके छात्रावास में दाख़िला लेने के पश्चात् ही हिन्दी, हिन्दू, हिंदुस्तान की सार्थकता स्पष्ट होती है। चाहे सुदूर आदि शंकराचार्य का द्रविड़ देश हो या माँ कामाख्या का पूर्वोत्तर, छात्रावास में तो सभी बंधु हिन्दी ही बोलते हैं। टूटी-फूटी ही सही, बांग्ला, अंग्रेज़ी एवं स्थानीय बोलीयुक्त ही क्यों न हो, या फिर तेलुगू फ़िल्मों के हिन्दी डब की टपोरियों वाली बोली  घुल-मिलकर हिन्दी ही होती है। आधुनिक पंचमेल खिचड़ी, आधुनिक काल की सधुक्कड़ी है। आत्मा-परमात्मा की चर्चा न होकर लैब, पेपर, परीक्षा ही विषय होता है। बहुत घंटे और चाय की प्यालियाँ इसमें निकल जाती हैं कि फलाना चीज़ को किसके घर में क्या बोलते हैं। इसके बाद बड़ा विषय होता है कि कौन-सा तीज-त्योहार कैसे मनाते हैं। “अतर्क एक पंथ के, सतर्क पंथ हों सभी” तो नेता, चिंतक, राष्ट्रनिर्माताओं के लिए ही उपदेश है, हमें तो बाघ की खाल उधेड़ने में ही सुख मिलता है।

ऐसे ही एक अवसर रहता है शादी का। अब जो आसपास के बच्चे हैं उनके भाईबहिनों की शादियों में पूरे बैच को ही न्योता जाता है। अकसर तो लड़कियां ठुकरा देती हैं और प्रतिनिधित्व की ज़िम्मेदारी हम लौंडे लोग ही उठा लेते हैं। अगर ये बहनें जाए तो कुछ और ही बात होती है, लेकिन आज उसकी चर्चा का वक़्त नहीं। लड़के जाते तो हैं लेकिन हमें दुनियादारी कहां? मां, बहनें (मेरे लिए DD) और गर्लफ्रेंड (मुझपे एप्लिकेबल नहीं) को ही क्या पहिनना है, क्या देना है, कब जाना है सोचना होता है। अगर कोई लड़का इन शतप्रतिशत जनाना कर्मों में नाक घुसाए तो उसको उसके ही भाई अंकल की श्रेणी में डाल देते हैं। अब अंकल ही सही। काम होना चाहिए। 

क्या देना है और कौन लायेगा इस विष्य में बहुत दोस्तियां अपने खंडन बिंदु पे आ जाती हैं। दरअसल किसी को जाना नहीं, क्या देना पता नहीं लेकिन क्या क्या नहीं देना चाहिए उसपे तो जम के विचार हैं। लेकिन किसी तरह समान आ जाए चंदे से (कम से कम एक जोड़ी तो हफ्ते भर बात नहीं करेगी इसके बाद) तो सवाल होता है जाने आने रुकने का। शुरुवात में सब को शादी घर में रुकना होता है। लेकिन फिर ईरान में पारसियों की भांति समय के साथ इनकी संख्या इतनी कम हो जाती है कि इनपे ध्यान देने की अधिक आवश्यकता नहीं है। 

अंत में गाड़ी की जाती है, इसलिए नहीं कि सब सज धज के जा रहे हैं कहीं शेरवानी बस में मुड़ न जाए बल्कि इसलिए क्योंकि जिसके घर में शादी है वो तो पहले ही निकल गया है और बाकियों को क्या पता अपने प्रदेश के बाहर के रास्तों के बारे में। गाड़ी में 2 मुख्य किदार होते हैं। एक जो ड्राइवर के साथ बैठेगा (अंग्रेज इसे Shotgun कहते हैं, उधर ये जगह बहुत डीमांड में हे) और दूसरा जो जाना बजाए। जितना सुगम DJ वाले बाबू का किरदार है उतना ही कम पसंद किया जाता है Shotgun को। आम तौर पर अंकल लोग ही इधर जाते हैं। रस्ते में 15 20 बार तो पीछे मुड़ मुड़ कोशिश की जा सकती है ये जानने की उधर लोग हस क्यों रहे हैं, लेकिन एक समय के बाद ड्राइवर ही आपका सहारा रह जाता है। लौटते वक़्त लेकिन ये दोनों एक में विलीन हो जाते हैं। आखिर ड्राइवर के साथ वाले को जागना है सब की सुरक्षा के लिए तो संगीन की बागडोर उसके हाथ में देना उठा कुछ बड़ा त्याग लगता नहीं किसी को। चाहे कितना ही बड़े अनुसंधान संस्थान के ही लोग क्यूं ना हो, भूत प्रेत की "आपबीती" कहानियां बोली ही जाती हैं गाड़ी में।

अब आखिर आप पहुंच जाए तो स्टेज में दुल्हन के साथ तस्वीर उठाई जाएगी। उसका भाई आपका परिचय करायेगा (अक्सर परिचय होगा कि ये फलाना है कॉलेज से, अमुक प्रदेश या ज़िले का रहने वाला है) । उसके बाद हम खाने पर टूट पड़ते हैं। खाना खत्म हो, मिठाई और पुचके भी जम कर खा लिए आए तो ये टुकड़ी अपने आप को फेरे गिनने से ऊपर समझते हुए वापिस आने की मांग करती है। 10 15 मिनटों में सबको एकत्रित किया जाता है और मना लिया जाता है। लड़कियों के लिए दुल्हन की एक (१) तस्वीर ली जाती है और काफिला वापिस आ जाता है । अब जब कर्मकांड देखे ही नहीं तो अंतर का पता नहीं चलता। लेकिन तो बात चीत, हसी मज़ाक और टांग खींचाई होती है उससे ही हम सब एक है का संदेश मिल जाता है। और आमतौर पर किशोर कुमार और आइटम सॉन्ग के बीच डोलते हुए आप आधी रात छात्रावास की और निकल जाते हैं।

CAM Diaries: Post Lecture Learning

 While the actual learning in the lectures have almost came to a stall, I still have learned a lot here. First of all I was wrong, one can't lump Bengaluru with Delhi, it is an ideal mix of Delhi and Odisha. It is a metro city where the seasons matters. At least Yelahanka is such as area. My threpatic walks have lead me to take steps in just 4 days I normally take in a week. 

It is indeed ironical that walks here are more conductive. Greenery, elegant temples and just the, dare I use that word, vibes in general are unmatched. I should indeed study Kannada temple art, this is fascinating. I have never been into architecture before, but I do need it now. Just another thing I do need to know. 

One thing that I am required to know is that the workshop was about since the last lecture begins in like half an hour. I can hear Ismail bhai locking his door, perhaps to breakfast before going to the lecture hall. It's not that I am totally lost. I have a big picture idea. I just think that this is so divorced from my work that I am not putting on the elbow grease. But I did learn a lot about workshops, grants, reaserch life, paper publishing and collaboration from fellow but senior attendees. Who am I kidding, 90% of my information comes from my roommate who is 5th year PhD in IIT Roorkee. But still, I think it is very useful and I would have never encountered it at NISER. As for the lectures, we still have t actually solved the original SPDE promised. Today, perhaps. But I think the model algebra and trees are similar to something I saw at the IMA Conference on Geometry and Topology in the Honour of Prof. M. S. Raghunathan, F. R. S. I dont exactly recall who, but I do have my notes back at NISER. It was a talk about algebric computation or something should I be remembering correctly. Don't think it's a one one correspondence, but still I think recalling that might be useful. 

While I try to plot these connections of ideas, the streets outside are highly connected. Like too much I think. The neighborhood is semicircular. All the radial streets are called Main Roads. And the one normal to them are called cross roads. Is is indeed a geometric layout, fitting of hosting TIFR CAM. We, LB and I, went to ICTS yesterday. That thing doesn't look Indian. Nah. Truly international. But in an outside locality. Bad connectivity. Yelankha on the other hand is very well connected. 401 bus are like a dense subset of the streets. During our walls, LB and I love to explore random cross roads and look and comment at the houses. They look so peaceful and posh. My working theory is a lot of them are retirees. This is indeed a good area to retire. Langauge barrier will be the only problem. My kannada level is at "Anna eradu ticket beku". English will take me far, but need to learn Kannada should one aspire to retire here. But that is talk of day after tommorow. Today the more pressing matters is end of workshop. 

CAM Diaries: It goes over head now

 Three days of lectures have passed as quickly as these lavish bedroom in my CAM appartments  lulls me to sleep. Faster than Ismail Bhai's (for I can't properly pronounce the Ismaël Bailleul) words flew over our head. The darkness of ignorance is like in which I left NISER.  No तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय granted yet. The thing is this workshop is about solving certain singular parabolic heat type Stochastic PDEs with a novel renormalization technique developed by Fields Medalist Hairer. Phew. Long sentance. Knew it was out of my bounds much earlier. Ismail bhai thinks that it is the Hopf algebraic structure of Models and regularity which might be a problem. But that part sits well with me. My problem is the standard PDE ailment. Kesavan avoids in as does R sir, but they are outsiders to the field. So am I. Perhaps that point of view is what suits me. But I think a lot many "natives" are also lost in the workshop. LB most certainly is. This I know from our long walks. Other I talked to are in the same boat too. But even as an outsider, since I work in Corona Problem, PDE is an important tool in my toolbox. I have been in an search of the elusive proof Hall's Lemma.  There is an 1983 paper which derives it using Stochastic methods. Which was one motive to come here. But alas it didn't help directly. But now I feel now confident to actually tackle the '83 paper rather than cowering hearing Stochastic. Anyway random pics from the walk today. 

CAM Diaries: दिग्गज, दोस्त और दिव्यता

एक दिन वर्कशॉप का बीत गया। एक थोड़ा बहुत बस idea सा लगा कि क्या हुआ लेकिन कुछ ठोस नहीं। अब जिस विषय में क ख ग का ही अंदाज़ा ना था, उसमें यदि 2021 के पेपर को पेश किया जाए तो इतना भी बहुत बड़ी बात है। काम cutting edge है एकदम। और बहुत लंबा चौड़ा, तो ऊपर ऊपर से ही बताया जा रहा है। इस्माइल भाई वर्ता है, और कल रात पता चला कि मेरे ही साथ वाले कमरे में ठहराएं गएं हैं। नामी दिग्गज है, उनके पास रुकना ही तो सम्मान की बात है। मुझे भी एक आलिशान अपार्टमेंट मिला है। रूड़की के एक भईया के साथ मिला है लेकिन ये इसकी तो रसोई ही मेरे निजी के कक्ष से बड़ी है। निजी लैट्रिन है। खाना भी एक नम्बर है और सस्ता भी। काश 2023 में इधर मुझे ले लेते, दिल तो बस गया हे इधर। जाते वक़्त दुःख होगा। अब क्या ही कर सकते हैं। आस पास का इलाका भी शान्त साफ़ सुथरा है। सुबह शाम टहलने जाना भी एक Therapy है इधर तो। आज सुबह ही गली में एक सुन्दर का मंदिर मिला।

भव्य मंदिर होते हैं गली गली गंगापट्टी के बाहर। देखकर ही दिल में दिव्यता का अनुभव होता है।

वैसे तो इधर जो है मेरे काम से बाहर है। लेकिन आज और कल इस्माईल भाई बोले हैं कि कुछ tools develop करेंगे जो analysis में काम आएंगे। The mechanics of local expansion और Renormalised continuous models । अभी तो हवा तक नहीं की ये क्या है। देखते है भविष्य में क्या होता है । पलक्कड़ में गए थे और ज़्यादा सीखे नहीं, बुरा लगा था। इधर नहीं लग रहा लेकिन। LB के साथ खाना, चाय, घूमने का ही कार्यक्रम करते रहते हैं। पिछले 6 महीने छोटी सी कक्षा में पढ़े तो दोस्ती तो बढ़ गई थी, अब तो बिलकुल भाई बहिन ही हो गए हैं। अच्छा है। कुछ तो फायदा हुआ। लेकिन नहीं सीखने का प्रयास करना है, बिना टेंशन के लेकिन ।अब जाना होगा दूसरे Lecture के लिए। चलते हैं।

NISER to CAM with Azithromycin

 It's 3 am and it's pitch black inside. Skipped bath. Bath, irrespective of the water temperature - which anyone needs to be regulated by my induction for the geyser works in timming nobody knows and nobody can change - and duration, would have resulted in death due to my cold which have survived 5 Azithromycins. Still I must leave for the SPDEs workshop I have been talking of again and again. The car won't come to the hostel, for there is some nonsensical rule about gate timming which is sporadically implemented, perhaps the workshop will help with this knowledge. Yet in the half dead state I must push on, push on I must. 

Arrived at Bangalore, or Bangluru as one have to say it now. Flight was not at all how I assumed it would be. It was nice. While apparently sinus worsening in flight or Aerosinusitis is a real thing, in my case the pressure difference seemed to have made some nudges in the postive direction. Nah, not nudges, particularly potent proding it was. It am all but almost cured. The Banglore skyline, welcoming me for the third time (and second time when I am headed for CAM) camouflaged itself like the early November Delhi smog, minus the smoke. So yeah just fog. I almost forgot how nice it felt in childhood when we could experience pure(ish) fog. And the excellent BMTC and KIA brings me and the batchmate LB at the gates of TIFR CAM. 

Workshop starts from tomorrow, as does hopefully my learnings too. Now it's just unpack, wait, relax and watch.

Review: Topics in Functional Analysis and Applications

Topics in Functional Analysis and Applications by S. Kesavan
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Despite the name, this is one of the better written PDE books out there. It treats partial differential equations as applications of functional analysis, and its handling of function spaces and operators is correspondingly rigorous. While this book came about earlier, it should be used in conjunction with Kesavans' Measure and Integration and Functional Analysis. When reading those two books, readers will find that there are certain results not normally available in books on Measure Theory of Functional Analysis, but which are used in this book. The only thing missing is that the new editions should directly refer to the said results in the other two books, rather than one frantically searching for the actual statement based on what one needs. The authour also has a NPTEL course, avaible on YouTube, to go with the book, but the quality of those I can't judge for I haven't watched the.

This (3rd) edition is the best one for me, the earlier editions, especially the first one Topics in Functional Analysis and Applications, have many many typos and omit several important topics. The latest (4th) edition retains all the typos and mistakes of the third, the main change is the typesetting, which is more "modern" and non-compact. Also, the price. Up 33% from 300 to 400. NO typesetting is worth that.

Still, there are errors in the books. Notably, in the section related to the Trace Theorem. One should refer to Krantz's (he does write on almost everything I need) Partial Differential Equations and Complex Analysis and McLean's Strongly Elliptic Systems and Boundary Integral Equations. The section on Sobolov Spaces should be supplemented with Real Analysis: Modern Techniques and Their Applications and the boundary Sobolev Spaces can be better learned from J-Holomorphic Curves and Symplectic Topology (COLLOQUIUM PUBLICATIONS (despite the Scary sounding title, I still haven't dared to try comprehend what title is about, the relevant appendix is self contanined and rigorous in treatment). Keeping a standard PDE reference such as Evans’ Partial Differential Equations at hand is also advisable, as one can easily get lost in the functional-analytic machinery and techniccalities.

In summaryt this is a good textbook for a secon course on PDEs with a Generlized Functions viewpoint. Moreso for people primarily working on hard analysis who view PDEs as a tool for their work and those who are fed up with the general lack of rigour in PDE books as a whole.

View all my reviews

Sanyal's Two Beers, a Few Laughs, and Many Abrupt Endings

Just finished reading "Life over Two Beers and other stories" by Sanjeev Sanyal. This is Sanyal's. better known for his non-fiction works and being in the PM's Economic Advisory Council, first attempt at fiction. He chose the medium for he laments the loss of short stories and satires in contemporary Indian literature. While I agree with his diagnosis, this collection of about fifteen short stories and a couple of poems is not the cure.

Most of the stories are set in modern metropolitan India, and the satire is mostly aimed at the buddhijeevis—the inhabitants of the IHC, the cultural-intellectual elite. While the undertone of satire is there, as Ashish Taneja' also notes, it is often too thin and difficult to appreciate. The stories are too short and the endings seem abrupt in most cases.

 Sanyal can be a delight to hear when talking of domains he knows of, like his talks on  Process Reforms. I think more important to appreciate is that he is actually carrying out the reforms and nit just an advocate for them. While I have not read his non-fiction, I have seen his lectures and debates. He even had a show called Economic Sutra on RSTV to basically sell the current government's reform agenda, but that seems to have been discontinued. I liked that. It was a good show for people who knew nothing of economics as well as those who keenly followed the public policy debates. But alas, Prasar Bharti works in mysterious ways. In the collection too, "Drivers" and other stories which focused on the side working of the government stood out. "Used cars salesman", "Bench by the lake", "The intellectuals" were also good. Ironically, tales not set in contemporary India fared better to me. "Revolution of Humour", "The Return of Imagination" and the "Conference Call" were in this category. The first two of the three were set in distant exotic lands in past times, which I felt the author had a real knack for writing such settings, more so than for portraying contemporary India.

Here is my GR review. I will not link the other way around as one would normally expect due to reasons noted previously.  The Harmonic exam went well enough in terms of marks (should one have just memorised the assignments, it was a 100/100 paper), and it is as a treat I reward myself with writing this post despite the Advanced PDE exam tomorrow. Not that I was 100% seriously studying for harmonic. I finished The Housemaid's Secret and read half of Sanyal's collection yesterday. Just one more day and the semester ends. The atipication kills one before, and relief afterwards. 

A review of the Blog: with focus on the period Oct-Nov 2025

 

Should I count this, I would have written 29 posts, all but nine of those written in the last two months. So we have been picking up steam indeed. I have restarted writing my IRL diary too. One would think that these two would compete for attention and time, but they are in fact in synergy. Great! 

Should one read (I use one for I know that rarely anyone does read this blog, much less read multiple posts of this blog) my posts from these two months, they will notice not the absolute chaos but one thread of patterns too. Like the emergence of the earliest life forms in primordial sludge.

 It starts with a poem 'Is my room too full? ??'. I had yet another fight with my mother over her sending stuff. I think it is only with a position of privilege that I can think this is a problem. While space is an issue, I have never been able to put forward that I am a grown, independent man now and don't need to be taken care of. The Vatsalya is sometimes a bit suffocating, I know it may sound a chochla, but I still think it is important. I was also in a bad spell mentally at this time. I think that shows up in my Hindi poetry trilogy that ends with पूर्ण समर्पण- एक हुंकार दीवार के आर-पार, indeed, total surrender (and support, love and gaalis from DD) did help me recover, and I feel great now. Well,  it was Chhath and Diwali and the festive atmosphere too. What I jokingly call the Lauva Bhaat exodus is perhaps the best anti-depression retreat. One can't just be depressed in this atmosphere:

As Chhath ended, I tried to read a Horror book, I can't seem to get into the genre in books or games or even films - but it was bad. It was also the first GR review I xposted here. It think some of the longer reviews might feature here. But if the review if in much detail, say like the two part one on Makers of Modern Dalit History [Part 1] [Part2]. These are not full reviews, but were some of the thoughts that occurred to me while reding the book. Compare this to my actual GR review. And mind you, this is one of my longest GR reviews. This blog is more suitable a medium posting my thoughts, while GR is much worse for deep takes. Unless you are Sajith Sir, just look at these monsterosities of a review he posts on GR. That man is a legend, but I am not. Hence this blog. That noone I know reads this, or even know of it makes writing my honest thoughts much easier. In an ideal world I would be linking this in my short GR reviews, but thats not a step I am willing to take yet. One day. Not today or tomorrow though.  And as november was about to rise like the late winter sun, came I introduced the charector of R Sir to the blog. This would have sounded much less parody like if I ever had a single dedicated reader, but it is what it is. 

November is a series time and started with four book reviews, two of which were advanced mathematics related to my research, both came from GR though. Then came, what can be at best loosely, call mediation cum review cum musings on a Bill Collins poem.  This was followed by hot takes on Poker Face.  Winter for me is both the month of seriousness as well as that of love, and I had to make the case for later here. A keen reader (I have previously concluded absence of an even stronger statement- absence of any readers itself- rendering this sentance  vacuously true) would observe sprinkling of my academic lore and Easter eggs and worries in side these posts too, hence inferring my fomer designation of the season. 

Then as the month proceed, NISER atmosphere grew darker. It's the seminar and end semester exam season. Unlike the Cold in Jatani which is fleeing, coming and going in waves, this mental atmosphere is unwavering. It only grows darker till your seminar. After which it's too much of a relief, rendering you unable to do much for sometime. Which is one reason I am writing the post as of now rather than preparing for the Harmonic Analysis exam on 2nd of December. We were taught the subject in a totally non rigourous ways and the exams are rather like memorizing and then vomiting out the assignments. Totally unlike Advanced PDE course whose worry (and then triumph) promoted two whole posts here. Another two posts came from my seminar, which also went well. 

Well, that's it. A review of all the posts. Once I was in too much of must-write-something mood. In June 2024, I wrote two posts on consecutive days and that was it. I think we have came a long way from then (Yes I used the We for me and the non present readership), there is no pressure to write now. It comes naturally. I think the craft will sharpen itself soon enough. Hope the new month brings good stuff for the blog, but more importantly for the real life. This blog is some kind of a retreat, but the real world needs to go to the washing machine and take my clothes out. That I must now. 

काम पूरा हुआ? Happily Ever After का भ्रम

 किसी भी बड़े काम को छोटे छोटे कामों में बात लिया जाए और फिर क्रमबद्ध तरीके से करें तो आसानी होगी। ये एक जग प्रसिद्ध उक्ति है। मुझे कभी तर्क समझ नहीं आया। आखि़र तो काम पूरा ही करना है, और मनोविज्ञान तोर से तो यदि हम एक काम कर लें तो एक आलस्य आ जाता है। अभी 4 दिन पहेली सेमिनार हो गया , तब से एक नया काम नहीं हुआ अपने लिए। DD और नई लड़की जिसका ज़िक्र एक दफ़ा किया था उनका थोड़ा ज़्यादा मदद किया। बाकियों का भी इधर उधर कुछ। लेकिन रूम में झाड़ू भी लगा दे ये नहीं होता साहस। आगे क्या पढ़ना है कुछ रखें हैं, लेकिन ये मोहिम भी यहीं तक सीमित है।

दरअसल कुछ सफल हो, जैसे ये सेमिनार या पहले भी कोई परीक्षा, तो जो अंदरूनी सुकून आता है और आगे काम में मन नहीं लगता । इति समापन । ॐ शांति शांति शांति। लेकिन ये सब फ़िल्मों किताबों की बाते हैं कि Lived Happily Ever After | असल में तो एक ही यात्रा अंतिम है, एक ही धाम मुक्ति धाम। उससे पहले किसी मंजिल में नहीं है आराम। आखिर आराम हराम है। लेकिन हम शायद हरामखोर ही हैं। कठोपनिषद्  में भी अंत और मोक्ष के बारे में कुछ ऐसा ही कहा गया है, स्वामी सर्वप्रियानंद से यूट्यूब पे देख कर पढ़ रहा था एक समय। लेकिन बीच में छूट गया तो छूट ही गया। अब देखते हैं, फिर से चालू करने का मन को बहुत है। शायद ज़ेनो की भी गलती ये ही थी कि को काम को भाग भाग में तोड़ देता था, आत्मा एक है और कर्म का हिसाब भी अथक हो रहा है, तो शायद जीवन को भागों में और काम को उपक्रमों में नहीं तोड़ना चाहिए।

Post seminar debriefing

 वर्षों तक वन में घूम घूम, बाधा विघ्नों को चूम चूम
सह धूप घाम पानी पत्थर, पांडव आये कुछ और निखर
सौभाग्य न सब दिन होता है, देखें आगे क्या होता है

-Ramdhari Singh Dinkar in Rashmirathi


If I may be dramatic, and being dramatic is what I suppose I am at least entitled as of now, and quote Dinkar, yes, my luck has woken up. And woke it did, at 1600 on the 25th. Yes, the 25th I called dreaded on the day itself. It has been kinder to me that I had been to it in times of tension. Even when ungrateful, I have somehow still been treated kindly, I have been a lucky man most of my life. In this way, at least. Well by topic was nice too, I got to show an image from a news article titled Solar Eclipse 2019 in India: Best Places to Spot the Annular Solar Eclipse in India   in a maths talk. It does look beautiful. 

Dare, and that I will for I am on my entitlement period as abovementioned, I say it looks better in the slides. 

Ek aur https://t.co/XdKn8B4h3w pic.twitter.com/ml7WF8y3l6

— Aryan Kumar Prasad (@Aryan_AKP) November 27, 2025

Gloating over what I call aesthetics (my lack of taste of which will be clear from the Blog's theme) and success aside, lets go over the talk. There were faces I didn't expect to come. Like last semester, R Sir made an unexpected entry. But this time, like in my Seminar for his class and unlike the RKHS Seminar in April, he was more content and fine rather than bewildered and bored as one normally sees him during talks. This was the highest praise I got from the seminar. This trumps multiple audience members and 2 committeemen letting me know that my talk was good. Even Panchalli, of the-algebraist-taking-advanced-PDE fame, said that it was the most entertaining talk of the session and the only one where she did not feel sleepy, even if I understood nought. My talk did not have elaborate poetry or such, or jokes or gimmicks as some love to add. The most "gimmicky" thing was the photo of the Solar Corona to explain why the Corona problem is called so. But blame Newman for coining the term. This one ain't on me. 

My narrative structure did work, it seems. But one committee member, better known as Fatakeshto for his in-seminar antics, he told at the end of the talk that "you promised to take us to Kashmir, but took us to Daringbadi. I was not bad, but misleading". But I still think the talk would be too bland without the "clickbait" of the Kashmiri Corona Problem.  Estimates are dry, pure estimates might catch the fancy of some, but I think motivation, and mind you I ask of no dastardly "real world" applications, for estimations are needed. And hopefully, next semester, I will be completing reading Carleson (1970) , with of course help from Garnett which unlike Duren has actual complete proofs., and take the committee to Kashmir, but only if  तुने मुझे बुलाया शेरा वालिये, मैं आया मैं आया शेरा वालिये . That's it, hopefully no more seminar talk for six months. 

Pre Seminar briefing

 The dreaded 25th has arrived. There have been no 'gentle reminder' but my guide has already announced my talk before:

Dear all, 
This is an announcement of a math seminar by an integrated MSc-PhD student. The details are as follows.
Speaker: Aryan Kumar Prasad
Date and Time: 25-11-2025, 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM.
Venue: SMS Seminar Room.
Title: Zeros and Factorization of Bounded  Analytic Functions
Abstract: In 1962, Lennart Carleson solved the Corona Conjecture, a major problem concerning the maximal ideal space of the algebra of bounded analytic functions on the unit disk. Carleson proved the result by solving an equivalent analytic formulation known as the Bezout problem, or the reduced corona problem. The proof relies on precise estimates of the moduli of bounded analytic functions, which in turn require an understanding of how these functions vanish. In this talk, we will derive the necessary and sufficient conditions for the zeros of a bounded analytic function and construct the canonical factorization using Blaschke products.
All are cordially invited.

Slides are also made, the report submitted and printed out. Mocks given. What remains is the actual talk. This blog post, the bound on whose maximum readership will not be above 5, is just ranting, venting and procrastinating. 

I have tried a different approach to the seminar this time. Narrative based. Starts with motivation, develops the machinery, and states some estimates without any proof (they are in the report though) and even lays out a roadmap for completing the proof of the Corona Theorem a la Wolfe.

 The meat of the talk that develops the Blasckhe products is the part I found most unsatisfactory. The theory is nothing much advanced, even Rudin and Convey have it (but I will swear they were absent when i was looking for them). The "big brain" proofs are the equivalence of Corona Problem nd Reduced Corona Problem as well as the two estimates, neither of which will I be proving. I can only hope to make "motivation" masaledar enough to suit the bland basic complex analysis I am serving.

The tension this time is unlike before. I might have said before that I was more worried about the presentation in R Sir's class. That turned out well. But I was worried about a last minute change and in aew of R Sir there. For today, I think my work itself is not worth anything. I am not afraid of $\epsilon$ or $\delta$, the problem is, I am not getting much after boring the committee with those. Also, I do think I am rather unprepared to deal with questions if someone asks me more regarding the Gelfand theory implications. 

I should not waste my time here and get back to those functions. I will just leave you with my thoughts, which Nana Patekar perfectly delivers:

Advanced PDE Seminar Advanced

I previously noted the tention regarding the internal assessment for the Advanced PDE course. Today it happened, and it was a job well done, and satisfying enough it was. What was supposed to be a 20 minute disaster became a 2 hour learning cum satisfying experience. 

As noted previously, once again it was Krantz who came to my rescue. And on top of that I even prepared notes. Yes, me, the one who needs a scribe to do rough calculations, wrote down notes myself. Full 12 pages of monstrosity it is. It was, for I need now to rewrite it and submit it to R sir. 

The entire talk was like an actual teaching experience with an argumentive, attentive, eager and open audience. It was unlike previous seminars which were an anxious perfomance to a largely don't-care audience with some troublesome elements sprinkled in between. It was teaching. Teaching like R Sir. Teaching as if the teacher cares if the subject. As do the audience. Board work, matters. Pace of writing, matters. Knowing what to erase, matters. Giving references, matters. Knowing which step is the key, matters. Teaching can be an art as well as a science. To quote Snape on Potions, it is a "subtle science and exact art". Well, it can be. We all know what it can be at its worst.

Chalo, talk done for this sem too pic.twitter.com/wyoKoaZyYq

— Aryan Kumar Prasad (@Aryan_AKP) May 2, 2025

I think it is probably one of the few times R Sir appeared to be almost happy with any student. I made a silly silly mistake regarding some domain, was caught and panicked. Instead of the usual R Sir we all love and fear, he took on the stage and worked it about on the spot with me. That he did. Unbelievable. Even consulted me about it. He has an heart, it's just not open to public. 

Anyway R Sir was satisfied with my work, I have no need to give another attempt or attend other's second and third attempts. All this modulo submission of giving the assignment next day that is.

सेमिनार से बड़ा सेमिनार, Advanced PDE की मार

 हर 6 महीने में सेमिनार देना होता है। 25 को फिर देना है, पहले भी बोले थे। कल उसका ही mock है। तीसरी बार देंगे इस बार तो उतना, यदि बंगालियों की भांति बोले तो, चाप नहीं आ रहा। अच्छा है। शायद आदत सी हो गई है अब। लोगों के सामने बोलने में शायद पांचवीं कक्षा से ही डर लगने लगा था। कारण अज्ञात है। अब ज़हर का नाम जान के क्या ही फायदा? नहीं फायदा तो है, Anti venom शायद सब का अलग होता है। थेरैपी का शायद ये ही फण्डा है। ज्ञान होना चाहिए ये सब का भी। 

लेकिन ये ज्ञान recommended श्रेणी में है, सेमिनार आवश्यक है। उसका मोटा मोटा आ ही गया है। उससे खराब दिक्कत तो लेकिन Advanced PDE में है। हाँ बहुत अच्छा विष्य है, वर्कशॉप भी जा रहे हैं। लेकिन जैसे उस वर्कशॉप की चिन्ता है वैसे ही अब course के लिए भी लग रहा है। 

अधिकांश तो आर सर के विष्य में अधिकतर मेरा काम चल जाता । उनका जीवन बुनियाद में ही समर्पित है । अच्छी बात है। गणित शब्दों या अंकों (Number Theory करने वालों भाइयों के लिए एक सावधानी) को इधर उधर करना और एक equation या वाक्य गढ़ देना नहीं है। क्लर्कगिरि नहीं है ये। रामानुज क्लर्क थे, लेकिन जब ये नौकरी मांगने गए तो Ramanujan: The Man and the Mathematician ( मेरी समीक्षा) में लिखा गया है कि उसने कहा लिया कि

 Ramaswamy Ayyar: It is too bad. If you become a clerk in any of these offices, your mathematical abilities will soon dis- appear. I do not want to sin that way.

अब उनपे देवी नामगिरि की असीम कृपा थी । लेकिन अय्यर साहब की बात हम आम लोगों पे वैध है । आर सर जैसे लोग हम शोधशास्त्रों को इस क्लर्कगिरि के जाल से बचाने में लगे हुए हैं। कई बार इसको इतना श्रेय मिलता नहीं, श्रेय दूर अपयश मिलता है। लेकिन ये सुकर्म है, आवश्यक है। हम 3 ही छात्र है इस विष्य में । तो internal के 13 अंक के लिए सब को एक एक सवाल present करने दिए हैं। अब सवाल सुन ही लें, Integration by parts on   ${H^1 ({\mathbb{R}_+}^2)}$ और Trace map के Image पे है। हमारी किताब में है दोनों। हम Kesavan की Topics in Functional Analysis and Applications ही पढ़ते हैं कक्षा में, इसमें ही 2.8.1 और 2.8.2 देना है। मुझे 2.8.2 का दूसरा भाग मिला। लेकिन इसमें त्रुटि है, और चोटी मोटी नहीं, पूरा का पूरा proof नष्ट कर देने वाली। बहुत ही basic गलती है, जिसका derivative ही नहीं उसे Schwartz कह रहा है। अब इतना ही गलत होगा ये थोड़ी कोई सोचेगा। हम भी सोचे नहीं थे । आज present करना था, उसके घंटे भर पहले जाने की क्या कांड कर रहा है किताब में। घबरा उठे । जल्दबाजी में  Strongly Elliptic Systems and Boundary Integral Equations में जवाब मिला । कक्षा की और जाते हुए ही पीडीएफ फाइल मिली। आज तो गए भईया। मेरा नंबर दूसरा था। लेकिन जब चालू की पांचाली (नाम बदला हुआ) तो बेचारी को 20 मिनिट जो मिले थे, उसमें तो कुछ नहीं हुआ। एक घंटे में भी कुछ हुआ नहीं। फिर पता नहीं किसकी महर थी, shayad मंगल है न आज, नॉनभेज त्यागने का फल है बंजारबली से, लेकिन R सर ने कहा कि तीसरा होगा। उसका तो चालू करने से पूर्ण एक बुनियादी सिद्धांत पे रोक दिया। दरअसल वो, मैं और किताब भी एक छोटी सो चीज़ को नज़रंदाज़ कर रहें थे। लेकिन सर से नहीं छिपता ये, कैसे छिपे? निठरता तो घोल पी गए हैं। आस रखे थे कि हम लोग भी अब तक कुछ चरणामृत की भांति पिए होंगे। नहीं लेकिन खड़े उठे आज तो। नहीं उठे। उनको न वाक्चातुर्य से मतलब है ना हि एकान्तप्रयास से। कई दफ़ा तो बाहर चले गए कहके कि तुम लोग आपस में बात चीत कर लो । अब परसों मेरा है। सेमिनार, जो 300 नंबर का है, उससे ज्यादा इसमें, 13 नम्बर का, से डर लग रहा है। लेकिन सच कहे तो इसमें सीख भी अधिक रहे है। अब चलो 2 दिन ईश्वरीय कृपया से मिला है तो अच्छा है। तो Krantz की Partial Differential Equations and Complex Analysis में भी छान बीन किए, और मिला। ये सबसे मंगनी किताब है मेरी, फेलो बार काम आई अभी। सही है। लेकिन इस आदमी का काम बहुत व्यापक है। मेरे से भी बहुत मिलता जुलता है। एक न एक बार इससे मिलना है। 

अगर PDE की किताबों की बात हो तो महाविद्यालय में बहुत सी पढ़ी । Partial Differential Equations with Fourier Series and Boundary Value Problems ( मेरी समीक्षा), सिंह-शर्मा की Partial Differential Equations for Engineers And Scientists, Sneddon की Elements of Partial Differential Equations ( तस्वीरों ), Amaranath की An Elementary Course In Partial Differential Equations ( मेरी समीक्षा),  लोकनाथ देबनाथ की  Linear Partial Differential Equations for Scientists and Engineers, Raisinghania ये सब तो भाई नहीं। Coleman की  An Introduction to Partial Differential Equations with MATLAB पे प्रतिक्रिया तो अच्छी लिखी थी, लेकिन कुछ याद नहीं आ रहा। छाप तो कोई नहीं है। और तब तो अपरिपाक्क था। फिर से देखना होगा, ही था क्या। डिस्ट्रीब्यूशन Theory से तो था नहीं, मतलब असली गणित के तौर पे तो निकम्मी ही है। अब खैर, हर किताब का एक पाठक होता है। इन सब का मैं न था। कोई न कोई होगा। अभी तो चिंतना मेरे इस सेमिनार को हे, और उसके बाद अलसी वाले सेमिनार की ।

मदन महीने वाला जाड़ा आया

 ठंड आ गई है फिर से । लोग अक्सर जाड़े को मौत वगैराह से जोड़ते हैं, लेकिन मेरे लिए ये ही मदन महीना है। असल बसंत का अनुभव तो मुझे रघुवीर सहाय की भांति ही होता है ये 

और यह कैलेंडर से मालूम था
अमुक दिन अमुक बार मदनमहीने की होवेगी पंचमी
दफ़्तर में छुट्टी थी-यह था प्रमाण
और कविताएँ पढ़ते रहने से यह पता था
कि दहर-दहर दहकेंगे कहीं ढाक के जंगल
आम बौर आवेंगे
रंग-रस-गंध से लदे-फँदे दूर के विदेश के
वे नंदन-वन होवेंगे यशस्वी
मधुमस्त पिक भौंर आदि अपना-अपना कृतित्व
अभ्यास करके दिखावेंगे

सच कहा जाए तो दिल्ली में तो सारे ही मौसम ऐसे निकल जाते। इधर ओड़िशा आके ही थोड़ा इन सब पर गौर फरमाया जा रहा है। महानगरों में ये कहां ही संभव हो पाता है। नहीं, तो नहीं ही सही। ये एहसास अन्दर कुछ जगा देता है, लेकिन जीवन तो दिल्ली बंगलौर का ही भला है। इससे याद आया दिसंबर में एक वर्कशॉप के आई बंगलौर जाना है, उधर से आके घर दिल्ली भी । Stochastic PDE विष्य है। Prerequisites का अभावअनुभव कर रहा हूं अभी से । पीछे पलक्कड़ गया था, तब पूरा अनुभव हुआ था उसका । लेकिन इधर रहे के न सीखने से अच्छा तो उधर रह के न सीखना है ना । कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते । 

अब ये तो हुआ इस साल का । लेकिन मेरे लिए सच ही मदन महीना है ये । घर से 2023 से निकलने लगा । उसी साल मेट्रो में लाजपत नगर में चढ़ने वाली रेखा–नयनी थी। 2024 में वो टोपोलोजी वाली। 2025 में अभी हफ्ता भर की ही बात है, तो नहीं लिखूंगा। "डीडी" (अंग्रेजी में DD लिखे तो अच्छा लेकिन हिन्दी में अटपटा लग रहा है, लेकिन अब क्या कर सकते हैं) इस बार का भी देख के जान ली है। वही है जो जानती है, उन तीनों को खुद नहीं पता कि मेरे मदन महीने को सार्थक करके के लिए ये हीं रतिदाईं हैं । प्यार हुआ लेकिन कभी इजहार नहीं हुआ । अब, बकौल  दुष्यंत कुमार के:

ख़ुदा नहीं न सही आदमी का ख़्वाब सही

कोई हसीन नज़ारा तो है नज़र के लिए

अगर ग़ज़ल से नीचे आए, और मुन्ना भाई एमबीबीएस के वाफ़िक बोले तो -  फिर क्या अगले दिन अपने मोहल्ले में ऐश्वर्या आई । 

लेकिन टपोरी नहीं है हम और न ही मेरी शून्यप्रेमकथा के ऊपर आज उपदेश देने आया हूं मैं। निष्कर्ष ये ही की ठंड मेरे अंदर कुछ जगा देती है। विद्यालय में कुछ बारहमासी परंपरा वाली कविताएं थीं, उसमें ठंड का कैसे वर्णन था याद नहीं, लेकिन most likely मेरे ये विपरीत ही होगा । ठंड से याद आती है हर Saturday मसालेदार खिचड़ी की, जमे हुए नारियल तेल की और भारी गरम मुलायम रज़ाई के अंदर सोने की । 6 ऋतुएं में से ये ही मेरी मनपसंद है हालांकि 6 नहीं, 3 ही मानता हूँ मैं –गर्मी, जाड़ा और मानसून। भाई मुझे तो ठंड ही भली।