Agnivesh Bhaiya Om Shanti and I am ashamed of myself

Today is the darkest day of my life.

My beloved son, Agnivesh, left us far too soon. He was just 49 years old, healthy, full of life, and dreams. Following a skiing accident in the US, he was recovering well in Mount Sinai Hospital, New York. We believed the worst was behind us.… pic.twitter.com/hDQEDNI262

— Anil Agarwal (@AnilAgarwal_Ved) January 7, 2026

Saw the tweet early in the morning, and I literally felt nothing. The coldness of Jatani seems to have penetrated my heart. Didn't even bother to read the full thing. A part of me felt as if the father is trying engagement farming over this death. No sympathy, no empathy. Then saw this tweet by Modi like 15 minutes ago.

The untimely passing of Shri Agnivesh Agarwal is deeply shocking and saddening. The depth of your grief is evident in this touching tribute. Praying that you and your family find continued strength and courage. Om Shanti.@AnilAgarwal_Ved https://t.co/qn0DBuBj2S

— Narendra Modi (@narendramodi) January 8, 2026

Why is the Prime Minister QTing this? Is this some MP? Some big man? Oh, the bio says "Chairman - Vedanta Group". Wait, Vedanata group of the (unfortunately named) POSCO mines fame? The one that was unfairly shut down due to activists? Yes that one./ 

And what was my first reaction? Not realization of सस्यमिव मर्त्यः पच्यते सस्यमिवाजायते पुनः, not even an Om Shanti, not even a cynical smile and ghastly glee some in the "Eat the Rich" circles may be having. It was to Open Groow and see if I can buy the dip! All this while पिया तू अब तो आ जा plays in the background.

And that I did.

The stock is on an all-time high, and even before today's dip the consensus was:

Following the latest surge, Vedanta has surpassed Emkay Global's target of Rs 625. Emkay had recommended BUY on Vedanta due to its subsidiary Hindustan Zinc benefiting from latest silver rates rally. It said that time, "FY27 management guidance for zinc output is ≥1,080kt and for silver production ~700t-positioned in the first quartile on the global zinc cost curve; minimal hedging for FY27 reflects the management's firm belief about structural silver tightness and supports a price-led earnings upside. At spot prices, we estimate EBITDA of Rs258bn vs consensus' Rs220bn, a ~17% upgrade potential. Each USD1/oz move in silver price changes HZ's EBITDA by

1%. We believe that silver exposure is underpriced and the recent runup in the HZ and VEDL stock price reflects earnings upgrade potential."

Overall, the consensus recommendation from 13 analysts for Vedanta is BUY, as per Trendlyne data.

This is an objectively good trade I think, well as objective as one can be in the stock market. But I feel like I am a bad person, someone's son (and I assume heir apparent) dies and my thought is if I can profit? I am not a Marxist who thinks that they are rich off exploited labour, so they are bad persons and suppress any need for sympathy for that class. No, that's not my worldview. But still, I can't feel much. I feel bad only for I can't feel bad, this is my problem. I am ashamed that my thoughts were directed to the stocks, to my Algebraic Topology class about to start in 10 minutes, to the fact that I have heard this song somewhere (they put it in Dhurandhar, which I watched twice in the Cinema!), and whether or not I should drink my milk now. 

I don't even know if not I can function in human society. I am perhaps too numbed for everything. 

My Year in Books: 2025

 The twice teased Year in Books 2025 is finally here after a gap of a year. I will present it without further ado. 

48 was a good number of reads, I think, considering the whole PhD business and also that this blog has also picked up steam. Much better than 30 last year (also, since I did not write a Blog post, it's worse). I don’t think I am going back to the near-century of 2023, but that’s fine. I chose my life. Many decades later, I’ll get that century; for now, it’s the Corona Problem that has my attention.

I was thinking that 2.9 average rating meant it was a bad year for books, but it was a 2.8 in 2023! Both good and enjoyable years of reading. Guess I beat the whole "Bad is stronger than good" thing.

 अक्रोधेन जयेत् क्रोधम् असाधुं साधुना जयेत्. 

One thing that changed this year is that my little brother got into reading too. That, and the fact that I have DD. Two book buddies was not a thing I previously had. And it does help.

Anyway, the year started with a string of thrillers that DD lent me (read: forced me to read), because I once said I don't like thrillers much. Okay, I had restarted reading with them once, but they seemed to get repetitive and boring after some time. I think it was Suheldev & the Battle of Bahraich and The Vault of Vishnu which finally killed the genre for me. But still the year started with  How to Kill Your Family, A Good Girl's Guide to Murder, The Silent Patient and Verity. This, I think, is the Thriller-Girl on Bookstagram starter pack canon. I wouldn't know, since I am not on IG. But DD is, and she keeps sending me reels on WhatsApp. They sometimes feel so relatable that I think DD directs them. These books were different from the ones I had previously read. Much darker, more real, with more sass, with actual emotions rather than cardboard characters, and more adult than what a middle-schooler thinks “adult” is. Also, the female POV feels different. I think my previous exposure to it was limited to Pride and Prejudice (which I didn't like). I also like the aspect that MC may be an unreliable narrator. अन्यत्तृणमिव त्याज्यमप्युक्तं पद्मजन्मना indeed. I went ahead and got my own books in the genre. Lights Out and I Was a Teenage Slasher (whose review I xposted on this blog) didn't work, while I was hooked on Gone Girl. 

Speaking of reviews, I started xposting some GR reviews here. Sometimes they are not even reviews but just my musings, or a longer review than one n GR, field notes as I go on reading or even multipart deep dives like for Makers of Modern Dalit History. I think it was one of the posts that got me back to writing on the blog, the blog did pick up some steam before that, but it was the tuboboost in some ways. I have written more about this exponential growth in posts here. There is something calming about writing these posts, even if no one reads this, and writing on the books is one of the main goals I started the blog with. I really wish GR showed the number of reviews written rather than just the first and last one. 

Speaking of my brother, my parents are surprisingly more lenient with him. Well, there is a 10 year gap between up and the change in parenting style shows. I read library books secretly, and this one gets taken to the Pragati Maidan Book Fair. Just how the time changes. This anyway it nice for me. I can read his books when back in Faridabad. Read Percy Jackson this way, and I was disappointed. Harry Potter is the one true boy wizard for me. The Choosen One. Ditto for The Alchemist. Don't get the hype of either. Days at the Morisaki Bookshop, however, was a warm, cozy book that I really liked. Liked enough to gift him Days at the Torunka Café. I also did read, but it doesn't hold up to the first book.

Speaking of books I didn't write, I think it starts with Butter. There seems to be a Tsunami of warm, cozy Japanese novels in the Indian market. But book this, I don't like. Vector: A Surprising Story of Space, Time, and Mathematical Transformation (which I got in a Hardcover, thanks to the DAE contingency grant) was another bad book early in the year. वर्जिन is a free poetry collection I saw years ago on Google Books, I finally gave it a serious read this year, but still bad. Also, I should not have picked up Lords of Wrath as my introduction to Dark Romance. I have not picked another since. I tried That Night to find a good Indian written Thriller, but was disappointed too. The Fractal Murders was a good title on bad writing and a story. I think the 2.9 rating is starting to make sense now. 

Given my trade, there were obviously Maths textbooks. While a lot of Krantz's is good, Axler's MIRA stood out the most.  And the year ended finally with the warm yet depressing Dept. of Speculation.

Reading Goals 2026

1. 30 Books.
2. Complete Ambedkar's जात-पांत का विनाश.
3. 1 book in (not on) Sanskrit.
4. 4 books in Hindi.
   
5. 1 book in Urdu Script (which I will learn via this book).
6. 1 book by Savarkar.
7. 3 Books from the "Ideologically Opposite" Camp.
8. Read the History of the decline and fall of the Roman Empire Vol.- 1
9. 1 Indian Autobiography.
10. 1 book on some current policy debate.

Some of these are still uncompleted items from 2023, but the year is still young. We will meet again next time this year to take stock of this. 

ये नव वर्ष हमे स्वीकार नहीं

 ये नव वर्ष हमे स्वीकार नहीं
है अपना ये त्यौहार नहीं
है अपनी ये तो रीत नहीं
है अपना ये व्यवहार नहीं

राष्ट्रकवि दिनकर कि इन पंक्तियों से एक तरफ में सहमत हूं। आज नववर्ष है, कम से कम अंग्रेज़ी कैलेंडर में देखे तो, लेकिन कुछ अलग आ नहीं लग रहा। "उमंग नहीं"। कैसे होगी? 31 से नाईजर जाना था। कोहरे से फ़्लाइट कैंसिल हो गई। कोहरा तो है दरअसल। अब तत्काल में रेल से जा रहें हैं। 2 को पहुंचेंगे, देरी हो यदि, जोकि इस मौसम में होगी ही, तो शायद कल का पैसा भी गया। 3 दिन का गया। अब गया सो गया, क्या ही कर सकते हैं? पैसों को तो हाथों का मैल कहा गया है (हे भगवान, इस साल हाथ और मैले के देना) लेकिन समय तो अनमोल है ना? 3 दिन नष्ट। स्वाहा। सोचा था न्यू ईयर में कुछ नया प्लेन बनेगा, जीवन बदल देंगे। सही पटरी पर अब अपनी गाड़ी चाहेली। करने का तो 2 को भी कर सकते हैं, लेकिन Fresh Start Effect भी एक चीज़ है। केवल दिमाग का खेल है ये तो, ये मात्र ज्ञान है, श्रवण है। इससे तो काम चलता नहीं। शास्त्रों में कहा ही गया है–

आवृत्तिः असकृदुपदेशात्

और हमने मनन कहां किया? खैर, शायद 4 तारीख, साल का पहला सोमवार और नए सेमेस्टर का पहला दिन एक अच्छी Fresh Start बन सकता हो। 

नहीं कहूंगा कि न्यू ईयर से पूरी तरफ ताल्लुकात खत्म है मेरा। ये जो Wrapped जैसे data अलग अलग जगह आतें हैं उन्हें देखना बेहद पसंद है मुझे। संगीन का तो इधर भी साझा कर चुका हूँ, GR का आ गया लेकिन रेल में लिख न पाऊंगा। जाके एक और काम। लेकिन लिखना होगा। इस साल ने बहुत कुछ बदला है मुझमें। 

लेकिन खबरदार, जब में साल खाता हूँ तो मेरा मतलब 2025 से नहीं बल्कि एक साल के अंतराल से है। यदि कल फैसला हो की अब ये से सब 18 अगस्त को होगा, तो भी कोई एतराज़ नहीं होगा। साल साल होता है। ईसा मसीह के जन्म या सम्राट विक्रमादित्य की ताजपोशी से गिनने की आकाशवता मालूम नहीं होती मुझे। इधर मेरा राष्ट्रकवि से मतभेद दिखता है। दिनकर कि माने तो

तब चैत्र शुक्ल की प्रथम तिथि
नव वर्ष मनाया जायेगा

हालांकि दिनकर का अनुयाई हूँ मैं, किन्तु इधर न साथ दे सकूंगा। वहां रघुवीर सहाय की शरण में ही हूँ मैं। 

रेल में हिंजड़े आए अभी। 200 का पत्ता गया। नया साल बनाना है इन्हें भी। आमतौर पर तो 10 20 का मामला होता है। कंगाली में आटा गिला रे दादा। 

लेकिन सहाय का जो कहना था वो आज तो और भी aatik है। इंसान प्रगति के चक्कर से आउट ऑफ सिंक हो लगा है। तरक्की की ये कुर्बानी है। लेकिन मेरा निजी अनुभव में एक विरोधाभास है, प्रकृति के निकटतम में रांची अथवा जटनी मे नहीं बल्कि बैंगलुरु में पाता हूँ। और हां बैंगलुरु, बंगलौर नहीं, एक हफ्ते में विचार बदल गया मेरा। शायद प्रकृति का भी एक Laffer Curve है।

बात रही साल की तो, घंटा ही फ़रक न पड़े लेकिन जमाने का ऊसूल है तो, साल मुबारक!

Minutes from Dept. of Speculation

I have been reading Dept. of Speculation as one last quick read this year. Well it's the last day. The book feels very soft, lullaby like, narrated as a stream of consciousness, almost lyrical, poetic. It is Bouba not Kiki. It's really somehow soft and warm. Warm and mildly depressing, if that makes sense? 

At times I can relate to it in weird ways. But in Chapter 20, the sentence caught my eye:

My husband is hunched over his computer, just as he was when I went in. All day long he has been following the news about an earthquake in another country. Every time the death count is updated, he updates me...

This is exactly where I find myself sometimes. Obsessed over some incident which doesn't affect me at all. It's not sympathy, not even morbid curiosity. It is just what it is. Perhaps it's Kabir-esque :

कबीरा खड़ा बाज़ार में, सबकी मांगे खैर

ना काहू से दोस्ती, ना काहू से बैर

Not that too. This is just Sant Kabir simplifying कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते for the common man. I am much below that level of detachment. I care about outcome. It might even be playing a Watcher as in MCU. Perhaps not, I discovered the concept of Watchers much later in life. BR Chopra's Mahabharat' Main Samay Hoon will be a much earlier, more connected and likely influence. Anyway I like the feeling of detachment. It's the same- warm yet mildly depressing. It's not vedantic detached observer, I have too much vainful pride in my knowledge. And the mere act of knowledge provides me joy. I am the one Adi Shakar warned सम्प्राप्ते सन्निहिते काले, नहि नहि रक्षति डुकृञ्करणे . I should really finish Kathopanishad along with Swami Sarvapriyananda's lectures that I have started earlier. Long back. Back when home was like home. 

It could be ward election is some random city of a state I have never visited. Or it might be a war in the Caucasian region. Or even Japanese aid to Central Asian nations. I will haunt the subreddits, lurk on the Twitter spheres, dig into JSTOR and devour PhD theses. 

Unlike the husband (Offill hasn't named him yet, and I don't think it is required, why do we even name our characters? This though and the foggy cold Faridabad morning reminds me of Dwivedi's Kutuj. He writing escaped me at forst - good typo? But it should be first- but later when I understood it it provided me with much warmth, icy cold Himalayan warmth) I don't share this with anyone. Not that I don't want to. I have no one. Who will watch the watcher? The wife is stuck. I have no wife, no love life either. Perhaps this is why I started the blog. Indeed that's the reason. I can at least scream into void that Government says 23 dead but the local press are reporting between 50 to 64. Nobody would care, I won't get a polite hmmm mandated by the Agni. Still it's better than something. This is not depressing, it's the opposite infact. 

Earthquakes are interesting things. Certain animals can feel them in advance. DD have a talent to feel one even if miniscule. My mother, on the other hand, can feel one even if it is not there lacking! 

I have been off Reddit for some time. PhD eats away your time. Well, we are JRFs, employee of Department of Atomic Energy now, can't blame them. Hopefully SRF soon. It matters, for apparently seniority matters even for missiles. But technology have been progressing. The Japanese can now predict earthquakes. I never bothered to read how they do it, but it sounds mind boggling. But they are Japanese, and as the old Indo-Japan joke goes, they say "Of none can do, I will do it." Something worth learning rather than that the normal punch line. Perhaps observe them, with the regular earthquakes. 

Review: 1808: The Flight of the Emperor: How a Weak Prince, a Mad Queen, and the British Navy Tricked Napoleon and Changed the New World

1808: The Flight of the Emperor: How a Weak Prince, a Mad Queen, and the British Navy Tricked Napoleon and Changed the New World by Laurentino Gomes
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I will be upfront that I picked the wrong book. I wanted to read Flight Paths of the Emperor but mistakenly got this. I was a good mistake though. It is a very well written, well researched book.

The flight (apparently the correct word is a hotly belated issue among historians but the author makes a good case for flight) of the Portuguese court to Brazil is the only example of a European monarch reigning from the new world. The arrival was nothing grand like the Delhi Durbar (as seen in say A Princess Remembers: The Memoirs of the Maharani of Jaipur) but still equally or perhaps even more monumental moment in history of the respective countries.

The author patiently sets the stage for the flight: the decay of Portugal, the menace of Napoleon, and the political and military climate of Europe at the time. Everything is presented clearly enough that even readers unfamiliar with the circumstances can easily grasp them.

The scene of arrival to the port and the journey itself is very vividly recalled directly from the logs of the British Navy ships which escorted the royal family of Portugal. Many academic debates are brought up and most plausible (in eyes of the author) theories are put forward.

As the court arrives in Brazil, the references start to be Portuguese and cross-checking becomes difficult. But this is a good thing. They are still numerous and a mix of primary sources as well as more recent research as far as I can decipher. Brazil was far from a United nation when the court arrived, it's various parts were deliberately isolated from each other by Lisbon. But as Lisbon fell, there was no choice but to raise Brazil to the status of a united Kingdom. The author paints detailed pictures of the country at eve of the arrival and one can't help but notice the lack of development. It is afterall a colony. There is a comparative study of state of medical knowledge between Europe and India in the 16th and 17th century in a chapter of Science In Saffron: Skeptical Essays On History of Science

, and despite all the medical revolutions in Europe, the state of healthcare in Brazil is rather primitive. Much more primitive than India of the time, whose own medical tradition was but stagnant for about two millennia. Bloodletting was the main, and in places the only, form of treatment in Brazil. Another case of European inventions, fueled often by the spoils of the colony, not reaching the colonies.

The book is extremely detailed and takes many detours into anecdotes and personalities. Entire chapters are devoted to a single letter, a single meeting between the king and his daughters, the archivist, the chief of police, and more. Yet slavery (except for chapter 20, which is devoted entirely to it) is mostly mentioned only in passing. Data presented as of it were any other economic activity, say gold mining or grain growing.

Even in that chapter, the moral qualms about slavery come not from the author directly, but from quotations drawn from British sources. The author in fact seemed to very matter of fact finding the whole slavery business a normal routine. It is written, despite profits it was a very risky business. "Moonlighting Slavery" is supposed to be a model "equally convenient for the master and the slave". While there are not author's own words this is what she cites and reproduce without any comments. And these are modern scholars from South America, not 19th century slave traders. The author's own views is that sometimes freedom was not worth the quality of life degradation as the regulations about treatment of slaves were generous. In view of author, many of Brazil's modern social crisis like poverty and housing crisis can be traced back to freed slaves! The author have even written a trilogy about slavery in Brazil starting with Escravidão – Volume 1: Do primeiro leilão de cativos em Portugal até a morte de Zumbi dos Palmares, while I can't read Portuguese, the reviews on GR seems to suggest that the author have taken a much different there so perhaps one should not judge the author too harshly due to the single chapter. Still, I started to skim mostly last this chapter. The writing also seems to have picked pace and events leading to the revolution just quickly summarised. But the author has to sell his 1822 Still this trick suits more to romcoms like Flossed In Love (the book which most harshly tried to sell the sequel among my recent readings) than serious non-fiction. But it is what it is.


That being said, the book is still a very well cited resource, written with accessibility of pop history, for the incident and the time in aims to cover

View all my reviews