इज़हार के बाद

 पत्र वत्र लिखने के बाद

प्रेम के शूर से हया के

मोटे पर्दे चीरने के बाद

ये पल हैं अब दया के।

दया करनी है पल पल के बाद

पल पल से भी है वही आस

दया करे वो भी पढ़ने के बाद

उस पल तक तो अटकी रहे सास।

सास फूली गाल लाल, कहने के बाद 

सर चकराए, हाय, जी घबराए 

अंतहीन एक मौन के अंतिम पद के बाद

अब तो बस जी घबराए, मचलाए।

मचलाए क्यों ना हम इन सब के बाद

परीक्षार्थी को ना होती है क्या कुंजी की खोज?

इज़हार ए इश्क़ भी एक इंतहाम है, और उसके बाद

ना सुहाते भाई बंधु, हूरें, निद्रासन या छप्पन भोग।

भोग धूप आरती सब तरह के पूजन के बाद

विनती है कि हे माँ! अब तेरी ही सहारा है 

ये जो तेरी बिटिया है बोल इसके सोचने के बाद

दिल ए आवारा को इसका क्या अब इशारा है।

इशारा समय जो बीत चला नित नित दिन के बाद

करता एक ही ओर, ये नहीं अब केवल नारी  है

बनी है ये मेरी भाग्यस्वामिनी इज़हार के बाद

ये ही अब दारोगा, कलैक्टर और पटवारी है।

Review: Worthy of Her Sword

Worthy of Her Sword by E. M. Epps
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is a adventure/fantasy short story/novella following Tinsa on an undercover mission as a maid so as to earn her role as a 'Heroine' officially which in proper career part with various levels of certifications in the universe. The language is contemporary but still the prose (excepting the dialogues) have a certain charm. That said, dialogue attribution is occasionally unclear, disrupting narrative immersion at key moments. The actual operation, the mental breakdown following the mission as well as the little romantic plot all seemed to be rushed. Perhaps it was a prequel and not reading the earlier parts made it seemed rush, but still the work stands as a standalone. The world building however was interesting enough and enough (deliberate) opaque refrences to House Gaurjo to warrant reading A Winter of Fish and Favor.

This review was in exchange for an ARC.

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Review: My World Line: An Informal Autobiography

My World Line: An Informal Autobiography by George Gamow
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Unlike Halmos' I Want to be a Mathematician: An Automathography this is not a very detailed memoir or contains tips from the author to a new generation of scholars. In the foreword it is mentioned that the author once considered naming his autobiography "Fragments" and that would have aptly described the book. Still, much like Halmos’ writing, the book is humorous and rich with anecdotes. It reads less like a conventional autobiography and more like a loosely chronological collection of personal stories. In that sense, Gamow comes across almost as a Soviet born Feynman. Indeed this book reminds me of The Pleasure Of Finding Things Out: The Best Short Works Of Richard Feynman. One thing I found rather curious was the lack of any mention of Feynman in the book, given that Gamow pretty much name drops all of the other people on the field. They were even friends and Feynman was a member of his RNA Tie Club too. But still missed. Also unlike Feynman and Halmos, Gamow shies away from actually explaining the science in detail, perhaps trying to keep the bar for audience lower. Also the last four or so decades of the life (in America) are too rushed. They were intended to be outlines but the author passed away before filling those out.

On a side note, it is only by reading lives of people does one fully grasp how close certain historical events were. Born in Odessa (now in Ukraine) the author loved through the Russian revolution, the world wars and the atomic attack on Japan. Since these are just background events in the life of author, the pacing seems to be complete off from mere reading off dates in a history book. It is difficult to imagine the same boy asking for fresh water from British Royal Navy submarines docked in Odessa later asking his British colleagues for help escaping the Iron Curtain. It is even harder to imagine this given the visuals of the current conflict in that region.

It is only a lament that current crop of scientists have stooped writing such autobiographies, which blend personal history, intellectual culture, and humor so effectively.

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Pythagoras, Baudhayana or Meera Nanda?

 I recently started reading Meera Nanda's Science in Saffron: Skeptical Essays on History of Science. This is about some pseudoscientific claims made routinely by people on the Hindutva side. While our side is indeed suffering from many quacks, something which I myself have noted previously, but still the publisher 'Three essays collective' is a known leftist publisher. Also the book is dedicated to her "comrades". Predictably the preface starts with bashing the Sangh. 

However, while ideologically opposite to us, Nanda is still a scholar. She is not a a humanities type trying to weasel her way into the debates of sciences. She is a PhD in Biotechnology from IITD who have later branched into history of sciences. She is a someone no responsible person should ignore, for निंदक नेड़ा राखिये. Her sharp tounge and witty-to-her comments are more than countered my her scholarship and research. One can disagree with her philosophy that harmonizing science with traditional worldview is not conductive to reasearch (while I agree that radical decolonized relativist "science" say as taught in New Zealand is, but disagree with Nanda on the very thought being wrong), still, her footnotes does not care about our feelings. We can't attack the thesis unless we learn the facts. Perhaps she is not actually anti Hindu and writes against Hindutva side exclusively only for it is now rightfully and joyfully the dominant force politically. Still even in the first 50 or so pages she did give a much softer rapt to African scholars claiming more than their share of mathematical discoveries. This is much relevant when now there have been attempts to portray Yoga as an African practice.

I have read till the end of first chapter only and I did change my views. I read a rejoinder to it ( more accurately a earlier version published as an article) but it is mostly rhetorical and trying to catch her in a gotcha moment when there are none. As facts stand now (or at least in 2016 when the book was written) the first statement as well as proof to what we call the Pythagoras theorem are chinese in origin. Nothing can be done about this fact. It does not make us inferior. She rightly acknowledge that the Suvlasutras tackle a very challenging problem and can be appreciated even if it were not the source of Pythagoras theorem. There is a very nice article in Bhavana (excellent magazine) exploring this. The author however uses the term Baudhāyana-Pythagoras Theorem. To Meera Nanda the mere act of naming is just a childish act of one-upmanship and turing science into a zero sum olympics fought by civilizations. 

Her exposition is very clear, it would be a delight to read a textbook written by her. The citations check out. One has to concede this chapter to Nanda. 

2025 in Songs

I think the trend started with Spotify, but now everyone does it. We have "Your Music in 2025" based on just 11 months of the year. I don't know if this is the result of a declining attention span or overflow of "New Year's Season" in the Western conscience. Some make a good case that it's a business decision primarily. Either way, we must do what we must. Fortunately, GR have buckled the trend and will only release it after the new year hits its HQ, which is like an extra half a day for us in India. But still good. I wrote a post about after 2023, and it was my first post here. How the time flies, it's almost two years. As I mentioned then, NISER did change me a lot. Earlier, the only music for me was downloading and listening to Kavitas when my mother went out for shopping. Or well, game music such as my favourite from CK2's own band- Until the Day We Die. We didn't have a headphone culture at home ever before Corona. Corona did normalize it.

But my actual journey as a consumer of music started only at NISER. It accelerated when I started coming to my office 333 last winter. I also bought my tablet (not iPad, its a Lenovo and I have no regrets) and friendship with DD started. We would often just set up music on my tablet on my desk (about which I have obviously written a post) and then talk for hours, or sometimes she would just sit beside me, and we would study separately, with the silence broken only occasionally with either requesting a song or appreciating the old song the other had chosen. We did exchange a lot of tastes over the year. But as the soft mud, I took more than I gave back to the potter's wheel. Still, I managed to make plant  Jutti Meri, Sindoor Lal Chadavo and Are Babuni Ke Shahar Ke Lagal Ba Hawa in her mind on loop. 

This is mine for the year. I think most of the "UK artists" are Indian (mainly Punjabi) artists based in the UK rather than native English musicians. I think there are a lot of them. For the top artists, Taylor Swift is a gift to me by DD. I am almost a Swiftie now. They even made a list of the top 50 songs I heard, which can be accessed here. Since I have now been converted into the "songs one listens to tell a lot about the person" camp now, I think it would be a duty upon be to write a few lines on the top songs of the year for me.

The top song is Jutti Meri. Punjabi/Dogri bridal song where the bride playfully rejects going to in laws unleless the husband himself comes. The final stanza, "Thumak Thumak Jaani Aa Mahiye De Naal" always puts a smile on my face. Its kinda cute. Wedding music has its own charm. In our side of the country, it is tradition to abuse the Baraatis as the Baraat arrives. Even Sri Ram wasn't exempted. My mother used to tell me the old songs in our family for this purpose. That is the only real connection I share with Sadri/Gawari/Nagpuri. Sadly, the practice is dying out. 'Janakpur ki naaris' did not let down the practice, and I hope my future Saalis too preserve it. 

'London Boy' is perhaps the first English song I came to actually enjoy. I especially like the BBC Radio version. The song was stuck in my mind for quite some time. Once DD told me a banagli nursery rhyme as a joke, which of course sparked linguistic and philosophical debate about House vs Home. The song was supposed to help her case, but the line in question stuck with me deeply.

Next are two songs by Maithali Thakur, recently elected an MLA. I was her fan ever since I heard her and the brothers singing जुग जुग जियसु ललनवा . She seemed like a 16 year old grandmother. Her contribution to preserving our heritage is most respectable. But DD doesn't like her. Even less so after she got the BJP ticket. My political views are openly written. So Maithali Thakur is an early morning listen for me, before DD comes in.

Raat ke 2.5 baje is a fun song for me. Very carefree. Good to play in the background when one is playing 29 casually. Or just typing out the project report in LaTeX. 

Pataka Guddi is a similar one, but somehow a bit more touching to the heart. I have recently been discovering layers of meaning in the songs, such as the use of the word Jugni, and it makes everything even better. Also, I finally saw the final (DD being the Alia Bhatt fan managed to bully me into it) ,and it is good too. 

Sindoor Lal is my export to DD. It's now her go to pre exam stress song. Jay Ganpati Bappa! 

Thar Coast by Rapperiya Balam is a surprise entry. Rest all songs I will normally play myself before letting the algorithms take over.  Rapperiya Balam is brilliant, mind you. His nationalist and religious lyrics both work. As do the more typical Gangsta raps. But I can't even recall lyrics on Thar Coast. Weird. Weird. One more reason we need recaps and data. I would have never guessed it otherwise. Still somewhat weird. 

The next two are Bengali songs, courtesy DD. I, in fact, like a lot many Chandrbindu songs now and know like half the lyrics. Two years back, I only knew they called puris as luchis, a few lines of Ekla Chalo and "Ami Tumike bhalobahashi". Now I can recommend even some Bengalis some songs in their own tongue. My latest favourite is this folk song that DD played to tease me over the 'new girl'. but now I am enjoying the songs. What doesn't kill you... 


These recaps are explicitly about songs, but when one starts to brood over it, one recalls the silences, the laughs, the fights, the tears and everything that made the year as it was and made the person I am as one looks forward to 2026.